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Fire and Ice
(A Monroe County Story)
Chapter One

by Kristin
Copyright Ó 2003

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Monroe County is an unusual town, filled with conservative people with a unique perspective on all things familial and domestic. Most of the residents are second or third generations, daughters tending house down the street from their mothers, while fathers work proudly beside their sons. Transplants to the microcosm of a community generally come for one of two reasons. Either they're looking to return to the values of generations gone by, or they have no other place to go.

When Maggie Delaney rolled into town just a few days after the New Year, she fell¾ without a doubt¾ into the latter of the two categories. A firefighter/paramedic with more than one black mark on her work record, the Monroe County Fire Department was her last hope for a job in her chosen field. Her brother-in-law had agreed to put in a good word for her with the Fire Chief, a high-school buddy of his. Downshifting in order to get her '94 Jeep up the steep, ice-slickened driveway that led to her sister's home, she sent up one final prayer that Kevin's vote of confidence would mean enough to convince a total stranger to give her a chance.

"Maggie, you made it!" Older sister Zoe was waiting on the back porch when Maggie reached the top of the lane. She stood with the screen door open, an afghan thrown around her shoulders for warmth, and beckoned welcomingly as Maggie set the emergency brake and clambered out of the beat-up vehicle. "Come in. It's freezing out here!"

"I'll just get my ¾ ," Maggie began, only to find her words cut off as her brother-in-law, Kevin Reede, caught her up in a breath-stealing bear hug.

"I'll get your stuff, Mags. You go on in, before my wife catches heck for standing out on the porch in her stocking feet."

The emphasis on Zoe's lack of shoes was not lost on the blonde at the top of the porch steps, and she hurriedly scrambled to step back inside the house. "Sorry, Kevin. I was just excited."

"I know." Kevin shook his head good-naturedly as he shooed Maggie in her sister's direction. "She's just getting over bronchitis," he murmured, by way of an explanation, "and I've had a heck of a time holding her down, even though the doctor told her she needed to rest."

"Sounds like typical Zoe ¾ every bit as stubborn as Mom was."

"So I've heard. You want to try to pin her down somewhere for me? Please?"

"Yes sir!" Maggie gave Kevin a snappy salute, whirled on her heel and marched into the kitchen. Both women dissolved into giggles as they hugged one another. "I see he's as bossy as ever," she whispered into Zoe's ear.

"Are you kidding? He's worse!" Zoe pulled away and, grinning, patted her bulging stomach. "He's twice the terror now that I'm pregnant."

"Good for him." Maggie laid an inquisitive hand against her sister's belly. "Has she been kicking a lot?"

"Not as much as before. The doc says it's because of the limited room."

"And how much longer? A couple of months?"

"Seven weeks and four days," Zoe sighed. "And am I ever ready."

"I bet." Maggie nudged her sister in the direction of the living room. "So how about we sit down before your husband has my head for keeping you on your feet? Hmmm?"

"Oh, all right." Zoe gave her sister one more tight squeeze, then waddled her way into the living room. "I'm so glad you're here, Mags. I'm hoping Kevin'll be able to relax now that you'll be close by. He's insisted on working from home rather than drive into the city and, to be honest, he's driving me nuts. I can't take the hovering."

"Given the kind of weather you've had this year, I'm not surprised that he doesn't want to leave you alone," Maggie replied. She dropped down in a recliner, stretched and yawned, while her sister lowered herself to the sofa. "I see being pregnant hasn't kept you out of trouble," she added, her gaze flickering from a page of neatly numbered sentences to her sister's face. "I will not take unnecessary risks with my health? What's that about?"

Zoe's face flushed red with embarrassment. "Kevin objected to my attempt to finish painting the nursery today."

"With your allergies and just getting over bronchitis, I can see why. But he didn't…?"

"Spank me?" Zoe shook her head quickly. "No…not since we found out I was pregnant."

"Okay."

Maggie let out a deep breath. Frankly, she didn't understand how her sister had ended up married to a man who believed in spanking his wife, but she'd learned long ago to leave that subject alone. As long as Zoe was happy ¾ and safe¾ it wasn't up to her to judge Kevin Reede or his somewhat bossy tendencies. In fact, Maggie admitted to herself, his overprotective streak could be somewhat endearing.

The young widow found herself in a decidedly less generous frame of mind the next morning, when she found Kevin's overprotective tendencies applied to her.

"What time do you want to go into town?" he asked as he piled a serving platter with his Saturday morning specialty, cinnamon apple pancakes. "I'll drive you in."

"You don't have to do that," she replied. "You said the Chief'll be in at noon, right? I thought I'd head in early to do a little apartment hunting and then drop by the firehouse after lunch."

She could practically feel Kevin frowning at her back. "I don't think so, Mags. It'll be snowing again in a few hours, and the tires on that old jeep of yours aren't fit for icy roads. I'll drive you in today, and then fix you up with some chains tonight."

Maggie glanced at her sister for support, but Zoe only shrugged and mouthed, "Leave me out of this," while her husband's back was turned.

Maggie had to clamp down on her tongue to keep from telling her brother-in-law what he could do with his chains, but she managed to sound reasonably agreeable when she acquiesced. With Zoe's tendency toward prenatal high blood pressure, she didn't want to upset her pregnant sister. Still, waiting for Kevin made her antsy¾ so much so that she had little patience left when she actually came face to face with Chief Todd Stevenson later that afternoon.

"So, you're Zoe's sister." The Chief was not overly tall¾ he had no more than three or four inches on her¾ but then again, at 5'7" she came close to looking most men in the eye. Still, he was clearly in excellent shape, as evidenced by the muscles that rippled beneath his red polo shirt and the jeans that hugged his lean waist. When he offered her his hand, she sensed carefully harnessed power in his grip. "Come on in and have a seat."

She followed him into the station house kitchen, grimaced when he held out a chair for her at the long table. He was clearly as old-fashioned as her brother-in-law. She looked around at the gleaming room, complete with stainless-steel appliances, and envisioned herself cooking chili and washing dishes while her male counterparts suited up to tackle house fires and car accidents on the nearby highway. Bristling immediately, she told him,

"I realize you've not employed a female firefighter here before, but really, that old adage about women being more comfortable in the kitchen is nonsense. I can answer your questions just as easily in your office, and I promise not to let your big, man-sized desk intimidate me."

One bushy red eyebrow arched upward in recognition of her sarcasm. "This is a small facility, Mrs. Delaney. Nice," he added, a slight incline of his head indicating the spotless kitchen, "but small. I do my paperwork at this table, or I take it home. I don't have an office."

"Oh." She willed her face not to flame, but the heat crept up her neck just the same. "My mistake. I'm sorry."

An impossibly small smile twitched beneath his carefully maintained mustache. "Apology accepted."

"But there is something I need to make clear," she added quickly. "I'm a widow, so the correct term is miz, not missus. Please use it."

If Todd Stevenson was stunned by her callousness, he hid the reaction beneath a smoothly professional façade. "Alright then, Ms. Delaney¾ ." He sat back in his chair, linked his hands beneath his head, and pinned her with a hooded green-blue gaze. "Tell me why I should hire you."

The command wasn't quite what she'd expected, but Maggie sat forward, ticking off a list of her good qualities. "I'm experienced in both firefighting and as a licensed paramedic. I've been in the business for twelve years, ten of which I spent in the largest department in the city of Durham, North Carolina. We were constantly out on runs, so I'm not afraid of hard work and I'm quite capable of getting by on little to no sleep. During my time there, I received three commendations for bravery in the line of duty." She caught and held his gaze, certain that he wanted something more. She stifled a sigh and put on her most gracious smile. "And, of course, I work and play well with others."

The last bit was meant as a joke. He relaxed, though only slightly. "So, why are you here? After Durham, a little place like Monroe is going to seem awfully boring."

"I have family here, and I'm ready for a change of pace," she lied. "Besides, I have a niece on the way. I want to be able to spend time with her."

The chief leaned forward, elbows on the table. "Not to mention the fact that you've been fired from three jobs in two years time?" He didn't so much as glance at the file that lay open before him as he reported a list of her crimes. "Insubordination, failure to follow established procedure, recklessness¾ not exactly the qualities I look for when I'm hiring."

"The failure to follow procedures and recklessness relate to decisions made in the field. In both cases, I got the victims out. In Durham, those kinds of decisions earned me commendations, not write-ups." Maggie folded her arms across her chest, her posture clearly defensive. "And I was never insubordinate."

"No?" He turned a page in the file. "So, what you're telling me is that you never told the Chief at your last job to go fuck himself?"

Maggie glanced away, embarrassed. "Okay, so I was slightly insubordinate with a crusty old geezer who called me little lady one too many times." Beneath the table, she bounced her knee up and down in her trademark gesture of impatience. The breath she took to calm herself was slow and deliberate, and then she once again met her interviewer's frank gaze.

"Do you have any idea how hard it is to be a woman in a fire department, Mr. Stevenson? I worked very hard to prove myself at my last job, but those two little words¾ every time he uttered them¾ diminished me in the eyes of my co-workers."

She folded her hands on the table, her voice firm but not disrespectful. "So yes, I'm guilty as charged. I lost my temper with Chief Browning. It was an indulgence I shouldn't have allowed myself, and one I don't intend to repeat. However¾ ." She stood, scraping the metal feet of her chair on white linoleum. "If demanding equal respect for equal work is reason enough for you not to hire me, then I suspect I wouldn't enjoy working here anyway. Thank you for your time, Mr. Stevenson, and have a pleasant day."

With that, Maggie Delaney turned on her heel and walked away from her last chance at doing what she loved. She was already thinking ahead¾ perhaps she could find a part-time job and go back to college¾ when Stevenson's soft-spoken words stopped her.

"It's not," the Chief said to her back. "Reason enough not to hire you, I mean."

"Pardon me?" She turned in the doorway, her gaze wary.

"Equal work does deserve equal respect. And if you want it, the job's yours. I think you'll find me a fair employer, Ms. Delaney. I treat all the members of this company respectfully and I expect the same courtesy in return. I won't call you 'little lady' or 'darling' or anything else equally ridiculous and I trust that you will not feel the need to tell me to do anything physically impossible in the privacy of my own bedroom."

Maggie couldn't help but laugh at that. At least Stevenson had a sense of humor. "Okay." She took a hesitant step forward. "And the men here? How will they react to a woman in the ranks?"

"I think you'll find that the men in this community have the utmost respect for women. It won't be a problem. And if it ever becomes one, it will be my problem to deal with, not yours. Are we clear?"

"Yes, sir." For the life of her, Maggie couldn't understand why the 'sirs' kept popping out of her mouth, but she put away her curiosity and walked back to the table to extend her right hand to the man. "We're clear. And by the way, you can call me Maggie."

He stood and shook her hand. "And you can call me Todd. Now, there'll be paperwork to do, but I'll have to accompany you to city hall in order to get that accomplished. Kevin dropped you off¾ yes? If he has a cell, you could call him and tell him to go on home and I'll drive you out there later. I've been meaning to check in on your sister, anyway."

"Okay." The offer took Maggie by surprise and she felt a need to explain her lack of a car. "My brother-in-law was concerned about the tires on my jeep. We don't get much snow where I come from, and I wasn't really prepared for such a dramatic change in the weather."

"I'd say he was right to be concerned." Todd nodded toward the window over the sink and Maggie followed his gaze to glimpse fat, white snowflakes as they swirled against the glass. "You'll need snow tires or chains around here, and an emergency kit. Blankets, bottled water, flares, flashlight, crackers and peanut butter or something else that has a long shelf life¾ make sure you have all that stuff, okay? You'll be on 48 hours and off 72, but there could be a time when we have to call off-duties to an accident scene. You'll need to have your two-way with you as well, and always keep fresh batteries in it."

Great. She'd been an employee of the Monroe County Fire Department for all of five minutes and her boss was already lecturing her on how to maintain her equipment. Maggie said nothing, but Chief Stevenson seemed to have read her thoughts when he added,

"I don't mean to overstate the obvious, but I lived in the south for a while myself and I know how easy it is to dismiss the danger of hypothermia. You're not getting a lecture that every one of the people in this department hasn't heard at least a dozen times. Okay?"

Maggie smiled, something in her relaxing in the presence of this good-natured man. "Okay."

"Oh…there is one more thing," he added as he handed Maggie her jacket and shrugged into his parka. "Concerning procedure¾ ."

"Yes?" She slipped her arms into the negligible warmth of her denim jacket and pulled her long brown ponytail free of the collar.

"I didn't hire you to be a hero, Ms. Delaney. You do anything stupid here¾ put yourself at risk even once¾ and you're out. Understand?"

Maggie nodded, her fingers intent on the buttons of her jacket, her face flaming. "Yes sir. I understand."

"Excellent." He flashed a smile in her direction before opening the back door and stepping into the chill wind. "Next stop, city hall."

Hours later, papers signed and Maggie Delaney safely ensconced in her sister's home, Todd took the back road home, his mind going over the afternoon's interview and his visit with Kevin and Zoe Reede.

"Thanks for taking her on," Kevin said as he walked Todd out to his car that evening. "She's good at what she does. She just needs somebody to take a chance on her¾ and maybe keep an eye on her, too."

"She seems intelligent," Todd assured him. "And really, her record would be great if it wasn't for the last three years or so. What happened to change her, Kevin? Why did she get reckless?"

"It started after she lost her husband. They worked together, you know."

"No, I guess I didn't realize that." Todd leaned against the door of his Explorer. "Did he die on the job?"

"Yeah. There was a fire in one of the older student housing complexes at Shaw University. He was on an upper floor, looking for a missing student when the building collapsed."

"Reckless behavior is one of the big signs of PTSD in firefighters who lose a colleague. I can only imagine how much harder it's been on her, since she lost both a fellow firefighter and her husband." Todd opened the door to his vehicle and slid behind the wheel. "I'll do my best to get her back on the straight and narrow, Kevin. That's all I can promise."

Now, driving slow through a wet snow, the Chief couldn't help but rethink his initial opinion of Maggie Delaney. She'd blazed in, exuding confidence, and had come off as a bit arrogant. The additional information from her brother-in-law, however, shed a new light on her cocky attitude. She was, Todd realized, a woman in a lot of pain; and his new mission in life was to help her deal with the pain without getting herself killed in the process. He sensed, too, that he'd have to avoid the town's gossiping ways if he was to succeed in reaching out to her. She was a widow and obviously still grieving. The last thing she needed was to find her name linked with that of the most fixed-up single man in town.

The youngest fire chief in Monroe County history, Todd considered himself a content bachelor. Most of his friends had married, but he was in no hurry to take that step. He rarely dated¾ no woman would want to put up with his crazy schedule, he reasoned¾ but being single didn't have to mean lonely. He went to community functions and church picnics, and was frequently invited to dinner at the homes of his married friends. Those dinners were, more often than not, a manufactured excuse for one or the other of the town's women to try to match him up with someone she knew, but he took their efforts in stride. They meant well, even if they didn't understand that he simply wasn't ready yet. Marriage¾ even a serious relationship¾ meant taking on certain responsibilities. And while he had no problem with the thought of providing for a wife and the children he knew they would have, there were other things he couldn't imagine doing. Actually, there was one specific husbandly duty he could not see himself embracing. Todd Stevenson could not imagine spanking a woman.

His reluctance would have come as a surprise to the townspeople. As the fire chief, he radiated confidence. The way he dealt with employees, too, left no doubt in anyone's mind that the Chief was naturally dominant. There was plenty of doubt, however, in his mind. Every Saturday night, while the married women of the town went over their husbands' knees for behavior maintenance¾ every time he walked into one of the out-of-the-way eateries to see a woman standing, bare-bottomed, in the corner¾ he relived painful memories from his childhood. And in the reliving, he vowed he would never be like his father.

He'd been eight when his mother finally gathered up her things, and his, and backed their station wagon out of the driveway, fast. He'd never forget sitting in the front seat, trying to think of something¾ anything¾ to say to the woman with the fat lip and black eye who drove with tears streaming down her cheeks. He'd never forget the hitch in her breath or the way her voice broke when, too exhausted to go further, she tried to explain to him why they couldn't risk stopping at a hotel.

"Your father could track us," she said as she drove off the road and parked behind a stand of trees. "It would be best if he doesn't find us, honey." She'd sobbed then, pulling him into a tight embrace. "I'm so sorry¾ for what I put up with, and for not protecting you. But I promise you, all that changes tonight. You and I are starting over, baby. Life'll be good from now on. You'll see."

They'd ended up in Monroe, where his mom had a brother. His uncle was a nice man, but he couldn't help but worry whenever one of his three cousins got into trouble. With his dad, what started out as a spanking always ended up with someone¾ usually his mom¾ screaming or bloodied. Things were different in Uncle John's house, but he could never get over the worry that something might go terribly wrong and he and Mama would be back in that station wagon, sharing cheap cheese crackers filled with peanut butter and hiding the car behind trees or bushes so they could get a little sleep before the next leg of their journey. It was not until his tenth year, when Mama managed to scrape together a down payment for a place of their own, that he actually started sleeping through the night.

Now, as a grown man, he refused to contemplate hurting a woman in any way. Todd Stevenson wasn't scared of much¾ he'd run into more than one burning house, had plucked more than one accident victim from a fiery car crash¾ but the thought of losing control, of turning into an abuser, scared the hell out of him. It was that fear, more than anything else, that kept him single. What if it was genetic? What if he got angry and lashed out? There was no way to take back bruises or broken bones once you'd handed them out, and he couldn't bear the thought of doing that to any woman. It was too great a risk, one he wouldn't take by getting involved with a girl who'd been raised to expect physical discipline from her husband. He could not, would not, turn into his father. He'd sooner die first.

Despite his objections to a serious commitment, however, Todd found himself drawn to Maggie Delaney. She was intelligent, witty and incredibly sexy in a simple ponytail, a fringe of brown hair framing her luminous, gold-brown eyes. On the job, she was a pure professional¾ almost driven to prove herself¾ but he found a very different Maggie when, seeing her jeep at the top of their drive, he stopped in at the Reede's. After that first pleasant evening, he made a habit of timing his visits with Zoe and Kevin to coincide with hers. Within a few weeks time, he found he'd become addicted to her infectious laughter and her constant asides to her sister. Somehow, within a month of hiring Kevin Reede's sister-in-law, he realized he'd been paired up with someone of his own accord. More importantly, he liked it.

"What are you doing this weekend," he asked Maggie on a Thursday night. As the chief, he'd made a point to schedule their off time to coincide and, if she noticed that they were always on the same shift, she didn't complain.

"Sleeping all day tomorrow," she replied, stretching. "I'm beat. But I'll be painting the nursery for my soon-to-be-niece on Saturday. Kevin would have a fit if Zoe tried it, especially now that she's on bed rest." She scooped ice cream into a measuring cup¾ she never allowed herself more than a cup of ice cream a day¾ and slid the carton across the table. "Do you like those Girl Scout cookies that are chocolate and mint?"

He laughed at her single-minded attention to ice cream. "Thin Mints? Yeah."

"Then you have to try this. It's got little bits of those all chunked up in the ice cream. It's wonderful."

Todd tipped back in his chair, balanced precariously on the back two legs, in order to take a spoon from the silverware drawer. "Need any help with the nursery?" he asked as he spooned up a taste of the ice cream. "Hey, this is good."

"And a specialty flavor, so if you want some, you'd best dig in before it's all gone. They only have it in the stores for a month." She savored a small spoonful, smiling as the ice cream melted, leaving cookie behind. "And yeah¾ if you've got nothing better to do with your weekend, I would love some help with that nursery."

"Well then, you're in luck." Slipping into his best Sean Connery imitation, he added, "It would seem that Hollywood does no' need me this weekend, lassie, so I'm all yours."

He loved the way her face flamed whenever he adopted the brogue. Heaven forbid she ever learn that he'd overheard her laughing with her sister about what Connery's accent did to her insides. He'd taken that knowledge with him into the video store that night and, armed with half-a-dozen Connery movies, he'd spent the rest of the weekend perfecting his imitation of her favorite star. It had been worth the work, too, when he'd looked at her over a euchre hand and, hoping he was angling his eyebrow just right, commented on her last play in his newly acquired accent. Her eyes had gone all round and her lips parted in a way that made him want to lean across the table and nip at the fullest part of her lower lip. Had it not been for Kevin and Zoe's presence, he might have done just that. Ever since that moment, he'd been rehearsing the words he suddenly found himself uttering.

"I know I'm your boss, Maggie, but I wonder…would I be completely off base if I asked you to have dinner with me sometime? Maybe we could go out after we finish the painting?"

She glanced up at him, and he realized she was going to say no. She was a widow, after all, and he'd learned from Kevin that any subject remotely linked to her late husband was to be avoided at all costs. Maybe it was too soon. Maybe he was pushing her into something she wasn't ready for. He was already mentally chastising himself and working out an apology when she shrugged and dug back into her ice cream.

"Sure. Only would you mind pizza? Zoe can't have it, on account of the sodium, and I am dying for pepperoni and sausage, with extra cheese."

He tried not to let his relief show. "Pizza's fine, and I know just the place. You'll love it. They invented Chicago deep dish."

Maggie was at her sister's early the next morning, but the nursery wasn't the only thing she had on her mind. As soon as her brother-in-law was safely ensconced in his office, she took her coffee into the living room so she could talk to Zoe.

"I hope you don't mind that I invited Todd up to help with the painting," she said.

"Of course not." Zoe, lying on her side to keep her blood pressure down, was clearly grateful for a chance to do something other than stare at the television. She turned off the morning news and gave her full attention to her sister. "You like him, don't you?"

"Of course." Maggie pretended not to recognize the suggestion in her sister's tone. "He's a great boss. Not at all the chauvinist I expected."

"I'm not talking about Todd, the fire chief, and you know it. I mean you like him, Todd, the man. And now, little sister, I think you'd better quit goofing around and tell me why that bothers you so much."

"He asked me out. I said yes." Maggie studied the brown liquid in her cup. She'd always liked her coffee with lots of cream. "Now I feel¾ ."

"Guilty?"

Maggie nodded. "Mmm-hmmm."

"It's been almost four years," Zoe reminded her. "Cutting yourself off from everything¾ being alone and miserable¾ isn't going to bring Sean back. And I don't think that's what he'd want for you."

"But it was my fault." Maggie couldn't keep her voice from trembling. Even after all this time, she felt keenly her own culpability in the death of her husband. "If I'd just gone to work that day, rather than letting him take my shift¾ ."

"That's bullshit and we both know it. It was a big fire. You said yourself that they called in the off-duty firefighters from three companies, including yours, to help. He'd have been there either way."

"But he wouldn't have been one of the first in." Maggie wanted to hold the tears back, but she couldn't. They fell, hot and fast, despite all her efforts to stay calm. "And maybe he wouldn't have been trapped upstairs when the place came down."

Tears shimmered in Zoe's eyes, as well. "You're right, sis. Maybe it would have been you, instead. Do you honestly think he would have stepped back from that building with you inside? Because from what I remember of Sean¾ the way he looked at you, the way he loved you¾ the only difference I can imagine, Mags, is that he would have gone in after you and you'd both be dead." Tears spilled over, streaming sideways onto the pillow beneath her head. "And yeah, I know it's probably selfish, but I'm glad that didn't happen, Maggie. I'm glad for me, and for this little girl, too." She rested a hand on her swollen abdomen. "I'm glad my baby will get to know her aunt. I can't imagine going through this without you, sis. You're the only family I have left."

Maggie put her cup down and, kneeling in front of her sister, laid her hand over the top of Zoe's. "I'm sorry I upset you. Please¾ no more worries. Everything'll be okay. I promise."

Zoe reached for the box of tissues on the end table, took one and passed the box to her sister. "Please, quit beating yourself up? If you can't do it for you, then do it for me."

Maggie rocked back on her heels and blew her nose noisily. A second tissue scrubbed the tears from her face. "Yes, ma'am. Your wish is my command."

"Well, it's about time you started listening to me." Zoe forced a smile as she caught site of Todd standing at the back door. "And just in time." She waved to the fire chief. "Come on in, Todd. It's open."

Maggie took a couple of deep breaths before calling over her shoulder. "There's coffee on the counter. I've had mine already, so I'm going to head on upstairs. You can join me whenever you're ready."

Without so much as a backward glance, she bolted for the stairs, grateful for the opportunity to splash her face with cold water before Todd joined her in the nursery.

Todd disentangled himself from layers of outdoor clothing slowly, certain he'd walked in on something but not sure how or even if he should approach Zoe for an explanation. The mother-to-be made the decision for him when he handed her the juice she'd requested.

"Sit down," she said, taking the glass of orange juice and motioning to the nearby chair. "There are some things I think you need to know."

"Okay," he replied, drawing out the word slowly. "What's up?"

"My sister blames herself for her husband's death. That's why she's been taking unnecessary risks that have gotten her fired." Zoe blinked back tears. "That's why I was so glad to have her here, Todd, in a small community where not a lot happens. I had hoped, being around family, she'd get past this urge to punish herself for Sean's death. But she hasn't¾ not yet, at least¾ and I'm starting to be afraid one of these days she's going to succeed in committing suicide inside some burning building."

Todd nodded slowly. "Kevin told me her husband died on the job."

"He did, but there's more to it than that. She had the flu and, since they worked for the same company, he took her shift."

Something twisted in Todd's stomach, a realization that he might never have met Maggie had it not been for a simple turn of fate. He was suddenly overcome with the need to protect her, to make her see that the people who cared about her needed her to start caring for herself. And, he realized with a jolt, he was one of those people.

"I won't let her use working for my department as her excuse to die," he told Zoe. "I promise, I'll do whatever it takes to keep her safe."

"Thank you." Zoe reached out to him and he squeezed her fingers reassuringly. "I knew I could count on you, Todd. You're a good man¾ the kind my sister needs in her life."

Thanks to an early start, Maggie and Todd finished painting the nursery in record time. They put the crib together, too, leaving it in the center of the room so as not to mar the pale pink paint as it dried. When they left the Reede's, it was with the agreement that they'd both go home and get cleaned up, and Todd would swing by to pick Maggie up at 5:00.

Dinner was wonderful but, on the way home, Todd realized Maggie was starting to withdraw. When he could no longer stand her silence, he reached over and tagged her shoulder playfully.

"Hey! You're not sleeping over there, are you?"

He could see that she had to force a smile. "Nah. Just thinking."

"Must be some pretty serious thoughts. Want to talk about it?"

Maggie studied the backs of her hands, not certain if she could voice the thoughts that were running through her head. A glance in Todd's direction, however, helped to ease her discomfort. In just a little over a month, she'd come to respect him¾ as an employer, a firefighter, and a friend. She took a deep breath and began.

"I had a nice time tonight."

He chuckled softly. "I'm glad to hear it. To be honest, from the look on your face, I was expecting a 'maybe we should just be friends' speech."

She rolled her eyes, slipping quickly into the easy camaraderie they shared. "Don't be silly. It was a nice evening, and you have great taste in pizza. What more could a girl ask for?"

He reached for and found one of her hands. "You tell me."

For the first time in years, Maggie didn't pull away from a man's advances. Something about Todd made her feel safe, cared for. She'd only had that once, for a few brief years, with Sean. She wasn't willing to abandon the possibility of finding that kind of love again.

"You know I was married. Did my brother-in-law tell you how my husband died?"

"He was in a building that collapsed. Right?"

"Yes." She took a deep breath, willed herself to tell him the rest of the story. "He was working my shift because I had the flu. It should have been me in that building. Sean died because I wasn't there."

He pulled into the drive of the little house she'd rented in town, parked but left the engine running so they wouldn't freeze. The snow was coming down again; thick, heavy flakes mixed with freezing rain. "I'm glad it wasn't you, Maggie. I'm sorry for your husband and I can only imagine the loss you've experienced, but I'm really glad it wasn't you."

She shifted in her seat, turned so she could look at him. "I don't know what I'm ready for, Todd. I need to take this slow."

He gazed at her, his expression thoughtful. "That's fine. I'm not going anywhere." He took both her hands in his, rasped his thumbs across her knuckles. He wanted to kiss her, but that would have to wait for now. "Just promise me you'll be careful. Okay? I feel like I've found something very important in you, Maggie. I want us to take our time, to get to know one another. But I really need to hear that you're not going to get reckless on me."

"I won't." She'd made the promise before. This time, she meant it. "You have my word."

"Good."

"And Todd? Thank you for understanding."

With that said, she leaned forward and gave him a quick peck on the cheek. By the time Todd recovered from his surprise, Maggie was gone.

To Be Continued...

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